how to know a sardar

You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
* puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants tomakeup his mind.
* gets stabbed in a shoot-out.* sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
*tries to drown a fish in waters.*thinks socialism means partying.
*trips over a cordless phone.* takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
* At the bottom of the application where it says "SignHere" he puts
"Sagittarius."* studies for a blood test and fails.
* sells the car for gas money.
* misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
* drives to the airport and sees a sign that said,"Airport left", he
turns around and goes home.* gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the
floor.>>* * * * * *>>Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
>>Sardar: "No, who wrote it?">>>>* * * * * *
>>Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six>>or
>>twelve pieces.>>"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.">>>>* * * * * *
>>Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?>>Because below 18 was not allowed.>>
>>* * * * * *>>How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
>>Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear>>>>* * * * * *
>>What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
>>Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in hismouth.>>>>* * * * * *
>>How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?>>Tell him a joke on Wednesday.>>
>>* * * * * *>>What is the Sardar doing when he holds his handstightly
over his ears?>>Trying to hold on to a thought.>>>>* * * * * *
>>Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
>>So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.>>>>* * * * * *
>>Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?>>They always forget the recipe.>>
>>* * * * * *>>How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
>>He threw it off a cliff.>>>>* * * * * *
>>What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?>>A wind tunnel.>>>> * * * * *
>>What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?>>The back of his head.>>
>>* * * * * *>>What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenadeat you?
>>Pull the pin and throw it back.>>>>* * * * * *
>>What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
>>Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).>>>>* * * * * *
>>What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?>>Just-one Singh.>>
>>* * * * * *>>Why does Sardar always smile during lightningstorms?
>>They think their picture is being taken.>>>>* * * * * *
>>Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?>>Toes Go In First.>>
>>* * * * * *>>How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
>>It has a stamp on it.>>>>* * * * * *>>Why can't Sardar dial 911?
>>They can not find the eleven on the phone>>>>* * * * * *
>>How do you get Sardar on the roof?>>Tell him the drinks are on the house.>>
>>* * * * * *>>"Oh, look at the dead bird."
>>Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?>>>>* * * * * *
>>What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
>>You always hear about them but you never see them.>>>>* * * * * *
>>Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman asopposed to a
>>regular one?>>you have to hollow out the head.>>>>
Whats the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton screwsinterns.Hi!!!
> >>>An insect fell into a mug of beer> >>>
> >>>Englishman : Throws his mug away andwalks out> >>>
> >>>American : Takes the insect out anddrinks the beer> >>>
> >>>Chinese : Eats the insect andthrows the beer away> >>>
> >>>Indian : Sells the beer to theAmerican and insectto > >>the
> >>> Chinese and gets a newmug of beer.> >>>
> >>>Pakistani : Accuses the Indian forthrowing insect into his
> >>> beer: relates the issueto Kashmir. Asksthe
> >>> Chinese for military aidand takes a loan > from
> >>> the American to buy onemore mug of beer. > The
> >>> Englishman's job is tosecond theAmerican.> >>>
>> A Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down
> >> from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar tomeet his friend. He
> >> reached there in a few hours.
> >> After spending a few days there, he decided to return, andcalled up
> >> his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didnt reach inthe
> >> evening, and not the next day either.
> >> When he finally reached home on the third day,his distraut > >> mother
> >> ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" Thesardarji gotout,
> >> obviously very tired from a long journey,and said, " Oy, yeMrutti
> >> wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gearbanaate hain,aur
> >> pichche jaane waaste sirf ek ?"