Computerized Plane
The world`s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.
The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned.
"Welcome to the debut of the world`s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...."
Engineer Jokes
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.
The car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke. We can check the rods."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas. We shall check the gas tank."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system. We shall check the circuitry."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, " We shall get out of the car and get in again ."
Oldest Profession : Consultant
A physician, a civil engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The consultant leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"
Politician,Thief And A Programmer
One politician, One thief & One Programmer died & went straight to
hell.Politician said "I miss my country.I want to call my country and
see how everybody is doing there." She called and talked for about 5
minutes,then she asked "Well,devil how much do Ineed to pay for the
call????
The devil says "Five million dollars".The Politician wrote him a cheque
and went to sit back on her chair.
Thief was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My
turn! I wanna call the my group members, I want to see how everybody is
doing there too".He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then
he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????
The devil says "Ten million dollars".With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque
and went to sit back on his chair.
Programmer was even more jealous & starts
screaming, "I want to call my IT friends too",He called other IT person and he talked for
twenty hours about various technologies and Project Managers, he
talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to
pay for the call????
The devil says "Twenty dollars".Programmer is stunned & says "Twenty dollars???
Only ??"
Devil says "Calling hell to hell is local"
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