A Few Jokes About Marriage

A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.

"Well," replied the man, "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without even thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend.
"I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. I'm sure she must realize that you've had some wild times before you were married.

The groom shook his head and said, "Yeah... but I don't know if I can get over the fact that she gave me $20 change!"

*****

A long time married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife suggested that they give it a try.

The skeptical husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she leaned over too far and fell into the well.

The husband was stunned for a while, but then smiled and said,
"Hey this shit really works!"

*****

A woman woke up and told her husband about her last night's dream.

"I was at an auction for penises. The big ones sold for $1,000 and the tiny ones for $10."

Husband: "What about one my size?"

Wife: "They didn't get a bid."

The husband wants revenge, so the next morning he tells his wife about his dream last night.

"I was at an auction for vaginas. The really tight ones sold for $1,000 and the loose ones for $10."

Wife: "What about one my size?"

Husband: "That's where they held the auction."